Current Mood:
loved
Today, my English teacher told my mom that she knows that the day will come that I make it as an author and she can proudly say that she taught me once.
Manda
The Pen is mightier than the Sword.
Current Mood:
loved
scared
Okay, I am officially freaking out.
The only reason I type this is because I'm pretty sure no one reads this.
But anyway. Way back when POTC first came out, I went to see it with my friend Holly. We're both to young to drive by ourselves so my mom escorted us there. When the movie was over we stepped out of the theatre and began searching the crowd for my mom. Holly pointed her out and I looked to see this woman talking on a cell-phone, almost hastily turning her back to the crowd pouring out from the theatre. And instantly, I was like -- that's not my mom, even though I knew it was.
The thing is that day my dad was out fishing so he had the family cell-phone with him. My mom and I don't have our own cell-phone. And because of family shit that happened about 5 years ago, my mom was never 'allowed' to have her own phone. Now just a week ago, my dad found a phonecard for cell-phones(the ones that you buyt minutes on) and my mom was freaking out even though she said it was my aunts card(her sister) and she just bought when they were shopping because all of their stuff was in one pile at the check-out.
After all this I'm convinced my mom has a phone, and normally I would be okay with it. The only this is that she kept it a secret from me. My mom and I are uber close, you know. I mean it. We talk all the time, and we have no secrets.
So the fact that she is hiding something from me scares me. About 5 years ago she had cheated on my dad, (something he hasn't forgiven her for) and they still can hardly tolerate each other. I've forgiven her (which I guess, isn't as hard as it is for my dad, but its my life too)and we've gotten sooo so close since then. But me and my dad have grown apart soo much. We never talk because we have nothing to say to each other, and we just do not get along period. And I'm wondering if she has a cell phone...if that man's name is on it.
If it does...I'll have no one. Except a few close friends.
I feel horrible thinking this, and I've been making up excuses for reasons why she wouldn't tell me this, but there I very very few.
I don't know what to do.
BRUCE PAPER OF PENDER, NEBRASKA IS A HOME-WRECKING, SELFISH, EVIL MANWHORE THAT RUINED THE BIGGEST SHARE OF MY LIFE. I WOULD LOVE TO SEE HIM NOW AND TELL HIM SO. AND EVEN TODAY, HE IS STILL KILLING MY LIFE.
Even if she doesn't have a phone, and is completely innocent.
The only reason I type this is because I'm pretty sure no one reads this.
But anyway. Way back when POTC first came out, I went to see it with my friend Holly. We're both to young to drive by ourselves so my mom escorted us there. When the movie was over we stepped out of the theatre and began searching the crowd for my mom. Holly pointed her out and I looked to see this woman talking on a cell-phone, almost hastily turning her back to the crowd pouring out from the theatre. And instantly, I was like -- that's not my mom, even though I knew it was.
The thing is that day my dad was out fishing so he had the family cell-phone with him. My mom and I don't have our own cell-phone. And because of family shit that happened about 5 years ago, my mom was never 'allowed' to have her own phone. Now just a week ago, my dad found a phonecard for cell-phones(the ones that you buyt minutes on) and my mom was freaking out even though she said it was my aunts card(her sister) and she just bought when they were shopping because all of their stuff was in one pile at the check-out.
After all this I'm convinced my mom has a phone, and normally I would be okay with it. The only this is that she kept it a secret from me. My mom and I are uber close, you know. I mean it. We talk all the time, and we have no secrets.
So the fact that she is hiding something from me scares me. About 5 years ago she had cheated on my dad, (something he hasn't forgiven her for) and they still can hardly tolerate each other. I've forgiven her (which I guess, isn't as hard as it is for my dad, but its my life too)and we've gotten sooo so close since then. But me and my dad have grown apart soo much. We never talk because we have nothing to say to each other, and we just do not get along period. And I'm wondering if she has a cell phone...if that man's name is on it.
If it does...I'll have no one. Except a few close friends.
I feel horrible thinking this, and I've been making up excuses for reasons why she wouldn't tell me this, but there I very very few.
I don't know what to do.
BRUCE PAPER OF PENDER, NEBRASKA IS A HOME-WRECKING, SELFISH, EVIL MANWHORE THAT RUINED THE BIGGEST SHARE OF MY LIFE. I WOULD LOVE TO SEE HIM NOW AND TELL HIM SO. AND EVEN TODAY, HE IS STILL KILLING MY LIFE.
Even if she doesn't have a phone, and is completely innocent.
depressed
Everything is changing so fast.
I feel like everything is just whirling out of control right now its so crazy.
I look at the kids that I grew up with -- the ones that have been my best friends for years...and I don't even know most of them anymore. Half of them are out getting drunk, having sex, smoking pot, hell...I had to go with my best friend to buy an ept for her just recently. She was absolutely terrified. I didn't....I didn't know what to say to her when she told me. I'm a hopeless romantic and as she's telling me what happened, I kept thinking that her current boyfriend is a complete jerk to her. She basically told me the only reason she actually did it with him was because she was curious about what 'it' was like and that she didn't want to leave him hanging. (literally) because she'd done it to him a couple times before.
It was raining (appropriately) when she told me in the car, outside this little convenience store that if the EPT showed positive that she would kill herself. The entire time I'm pretty much in a daze -- Two sixteen year olds buying an EPT.
I told her not to be stupid, but I guess I was a little late. Is the romance waiting for the right person totally dead? I mean, I always imagined my first time to be with the guy I loved, or maybe I'm just holding on to some kind of childish dream that won't come true.
Its been exactly a week now since she cried on my shoulder in that dingy bathroom, and she still hasn't heard from him.
And what gets me, is she seems fine about it. Its like she's accepted the fact that he was a total jerk and just doesn't care anymore. If it was me, I'd be totally crushed. I mean it was her1st time. her first time! And the guy is totally ditching her now. He hasn't talked to her since! And she doesn't fucking care!
Have I totally fallen behind? Is this the society I live in today? To hell with chivalry and romance and soul mates and true love?
Everyday that she talks to me, and tells me she hasn't heard from him, my heart sinks for her because I feel soooo bad for her, that she gave herself to a complete manwhore.
I feel like everything is just whirling out of control right now its so crazy.
I look at the kids that I grew up with -- the ones that have been my best friends for years...and I don't even know most of them anymore. Half of them are out getting drunk, having sex, smoking pot, hell...I had to go with my best friend to buy an ept for her just recently. She was absolutely terrified. I didn't....I didn't know what to say to her when she told me. I'm a hopeless romantic and as she's telling me what happened, I kept thinking that her current boyfriend is a complete jerk to her. She basically told me the only reason she actually did it with him was because she was curious about what 'it' was like and that she didn't want to leave him hanging. (literally) because she'd done it to him a couple times before.
It was raining (appropriately) when she told me in the car, outside this little convenience store that if the EPT showed positive that she would kill herself. The entire time I'm pretty much in a daze -- Two sixteen year olds buying an EPT.
I told her not to be stupid, but I guess I was a little late. Is the romance waiting for the right person totally dead? I mean, I always imagined my first time to be with the guy I loved, or maybe I'm just holding on to some kind of childish dream that won't come true.
Its been exactly a week now since she cried on my shoulder in that dingy bathroom, and she still hasn't heard from him.
And what gets me, is she seems fine about it. Its like she's accepted the fact that he was a total jerk and just doesn't care anymore. If it was me, I'd be totally crushed. I mean it was her1st time. her first time! And the guy is totally ditching her now. He hasn't talked to her since! And she doesn't fucking care!
Have I totally fallen behind? Is this the society I live in today? To hell with chivalry and romance and soul mates and true love?
Everyday that she talks to me, and tells me she hasn't heard from him, my heart sinks for her because I feel soooo bad for her, that she gave herself to a complete manwhore.
She's a cheerleader, I'm sittin in the stands
She gets the top bunk, I'm sleepin on the floor
Shes Miss America and I'm just the girl next door
My Fancy Journal
Posted on 2006.03.28 at 21:43Current Mood:
tired
Current Music: Sugar, We're goin down -- Fallout Boy
Right well, here it is...my fantabulous journal.
I'm playing around with my layout and stuff -- look good? Too dark?
Hmm.
Welp, I'm gonna abandon this crappy first post and come back when I actually have something to type. :P
.::Manda::.
I'm playing around with my layout and stuff -- look good? Too dark?
Hmm.
Welp, I'm gonna abandon this crappy first post and come back when I actually have something to type. :P
.::Manda::.
